Ten Ways to Kill Your eBay Business Dead.


It's surprisingly easy to kill your eBay business, if
you're not careful - sure, you can start over from
scratch without it costing you anything, but do you
really want to? Still, if you want your business to
end up dead in the water, here are some simple
ways to do it.

Lie about an item: Say it works fine when it some-
times doesn't work. Say it's in perfect condition
when it has a scratch. Your customers will hate
you!

Post whenever you feel like it: Make sure to leave
your customers hanging around, wondering when
their item is going to turn up. This makes sure
they buy from someone else next time.

Let items end anytime: Few people will be around
to care about your auction if it ends in the middle of the night. Why go to the trouble of working out
whether auctions will end at a good time?

Don't bother with e-mail: Customers are just time-wasters anyway. eBay businesses are supposed to
run themselves! Never give informed responses to questions about your item.

Sell rubbish: Really, it's just eBay. You can just sell any old tat from the market for a 200% profit. Let
quality be someone else's concern - I mean, really, what do they expect for that price?

Refuse to give discounts: You know what your items cost, you know what your profit margin is going to
be, and you're not going to negotiate. Remember that giving customers special deals might make
them feel good and come back to you again.

Make your listings ugly: As many colours, flashing lights and animations as possible will really give
those customers a headache. Write as much in CAPITALS!!!! as you can. Preferably big, red capitals.
Be sure to use the fonts Impact and Comic Sans. For an extra special touch, see if you can figure out
a way to add some music.

Don't take photos: It's such trouble, after all. If buyers are picky enough to actually want to see items
before they bid on them, then screw 'em, that's what I say.

Write short descriptions: Be as brief as possible, and use lots of mysterious abbreviations. This
obviously makes you look very cool. You can even just write the title again in the description box.
Think of the effort you'll save!

Use reserve auctions: Now, this is a fairly
controversial final choice, but it really is one of the
best ways to scare away your customers. They'll
see 'reserve not yet met', and click that 'back'
button before you know it. Luckily, they can
always bid in a normal auction for the item
somewhere else.

Now that you know the ten ways to kill your eBay
business, how about we explore what to do if you
want to do the opposite, and make a success of it?

The next page will give you ten steps to success-
ful selling on eBay.
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All work is World copyright protected - P. Moring      2009
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